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  • Tiehead

Guilt by Non-Association: The darker side of getting ahead

Updated: Oct 11, 2021

I am not Catholic....but I think maybe I ought to be.

I mean, guilt seems to be one of my primary drivers these days.

Being that proto-typical white euro-male baby boomer, I am my job. I identify with those sick, like minded men of my father’s era who donned the uniform and pursued the brass ring to the tune of eighty plus hours a week.

I enjoy the frazzle.

I thrive on the pace. Stress is my pancake!

O.K., So what?

Well, as a husband, a father, a son, and certainly as a friend, I find myself in a constant conflict with my participation, my contribution to these other invaluable facets of life. And I don’t think I am alone.

I see all those working corporate moms driving their mini-vans at the speed of light in five-o’clock traffic, racing to get little Johnny to soccer or baseball or ballet or whatever.

It’s almost like we try to overcompensate by giving our children more of every other life experience imaginable because we are giving them less of the most important life experience....time with us!

I don’t mean to make this a societal issue. This one’s mine baby. I do think however, that this American way, this capitalism, this consumer driven - buy, sell, microwave paced existence can and should be examined at the individual level. At the family level.

Spending extended time with my boys - be it at the dinner table or kicking the ball around the yard has become agendized time. I mean, I schedule quality time! This may sound sick and twisted to those of you well adjusted readers, but for me (day runner head), this method seems to be working.

So why the continued guilt thing?

Perhaps as time becomes more and more our currency of the modern day, I will “stash away” more for that inevitable rainy day when I am old and they are grown and I am faced with the ramifications of my non-association, my obsessions with success.

Until that happens I will continue to savor the moments we spend, to justify my motivations as sacrificial and not self serving (maybe there lies the heart of my guilt?), and most importantly, try my best to be a good defensive driver all the while.

“Watch it lady..!” Where are those Hail Marys when you need them.....?The darker side of getting ahead

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